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Monday, 5 September 2016

SEVEN SIGNS OF A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP


Many people find themselves trapped in a relationship which bring them so much hurt and unhappiness. However, they never deem it necessary let go of such relationships. This article gives you an insight into some signs that you are in a wrong relationship. It also gives you much more reason to develop the courage required to turn your back on such relationships. 

Seven Signs of a Toxic Relationship

1. An OverBearingly Jealous Person

There is nothing wrong with little jealousy in a relationship or marriage. In reality, all relationships and marriages have some degree of jealousy. However, anything more than a little form of jealousy will make a relationship or marriage, taste like a pot of soup with too much salt-more salt than is needed. A spouse who always feels unusually or extremely jealous will do everything within their power to keep you far away from the opposite sex. 


Sometimes, they could even go as far as accusing you of engaging in sexual activities with the opposite sex, just because you said hello or spent a little time with them. People, who suffer from an unusual kind of jealousy, would prefer to keep you within their sight for fear that you might relate with other people. It was a problem if you as much as spend a little time in the office or school with an opposite sex colleague, discussing work related issues.


Someone who is unusually jealous could end up being a lousy spouse to share your life. Are you willing to take the chance of sharing your life with such a person? Don’t you think the wise choice would be that of taking courage to end it now before it is too late? This kind of jealousy is unfounded and you should have a re-think about spending your life with someone unusually jealous. 

Remember, a broken relationship is always better than a broken marriage.


2. An Insecure  Person

People who are suffer from insecurity feels less confident about themselves. He or she feels threatened by the presence or achievements of other people. This feeling could be because of the background, race, experiences, mistakes, upbringing, or their financial and economic status. Insecure persons always have a feeling that other people are better than they are. They always feel the need to guard who or what they have because often think that it will be taken away from them.

If you went away for a while, especially on a trip that involves the opposite sex, they would lose all sense of sleep and could even become hypertensive.
When someone that suffers from insecurity gets married, he or she will do everything in their power, to keep their spouse from other people, especially the opposite sex. Even though they are married to this person, they are still afraid that their spouse would love and choose someone else.

An insecure spouse can even go as far as discrediting the other person before their spouse, with the intention of keeping them from each other. Some spouse will even go as far as keeping you from your immediate family members, because they feel unsafe about what you might be saying to them, who are spending time with, or what they might be telling you.

This kind of spouse will always show up at your school or work place in pretence that they wanted to take you out on lunch or find out how you are doing. They feel unsafe once you leave their sight. Only this year, a man in Lagos, Nigeria was accused and arrested for killing his wife because, he believed that she was having an affair with her boss in the office. Every day, the media is filled with stories of people who lost their lives in the hands of an insecure spouse.
Making the choice to marry someone with insecurity issues is risky, and one that you would regret the rest of your life. Take courage, and choose to work away from any relationship that endangers your life.





3. The Proud Spouse (I-Know-It-All-Kind-of-Person)

Never on your life marry a man who woman who feels too big to be corrected. Tell them to marry someone else or become a celibate if they knew all. As two people taking a decision to spend our lives with someone, you owe it to them to respectfully guide or correct them, because you both will bear the consequences of any wrong choice or mistakes they make in life.

4. An Angry, Bitter and Unforgiving Person

End the relationship if you do not succeed in helping the person overcome any form of unforgiveness, anger, or bitterness that they have been harbouring about you, past relationships, a family member, a neighbour, or a friend.
You really do not want to take the chance of spending your life in the past.


5. Blame-Others-Kind-of-Person.

So many people find it very difficult to take responsibility for their lives. If they lost their job, it was the fault of the employer. If they had an affair with someone else, it was because you were not there for them. If they could not get a job or an admission into school, it was the fault of someone else even if they failed the exams.

You would be making a grave mistake if you make the choice of marrying someone who would blame you for everything that goes wrong in the home.

6. A Deceptive Person

Be wary of spending your life with someone who misleads you about who they are or what they have. Someone who is not proud or humble enough to tell you the truth about very important issues such as their background, economic, or health status may be lying about so many other things. For example, someone I know walked out of a marriage days after the marriage because, she found out that the man she married had HIV but hid it from her because he felt she would not marry him if she knew.

Some people give the excuse that they might lose someone if they revealed their economic or financial status. However, it is not in anyone’s place to try to deceive someone else into marrying him or her. They must be wise and mature enough give the ones they love the chance of making their choice based on what they know about. A benefit of doubt could be in your favour.

It can be very tricky to find out if someone is deceptive. However, you must look out for one or two incidences that point you to the deception of your intended spouse. Once you establish that he or she is deceptive, do not compromise. Make the choice and take courage to end the relationship.

7. An Unfaithful Spouse
One of the mistakes single People make everyday is the choice to stay in a relationship or marry someone who still has an issue with infidelity. This choice is made on the expectation or assumption that the unfaithful spouse will change simply because he or she is in a relationship with them

The question I ask single people about this choice is 'what if he or she doesn't change'? Are you really ready to risk spending your life in misery and uncertainty just because you are in love? People who are in relationship must know that they have no power to change anyone, and tolerating or managing someone who has an issue being faithful to you is a practical joke that could become your worst nightmare.

8. Someone Who Despises you or your Gifts.
 One other mistake you will ever make is the choice of a partner who has no regard for you  or the talents God has put in you-someone who will consciously not support, motivate, or  help you to achieve your dreams. All that concerns them is about fulfilling their own  dream. Our happiness on earth largely depends on living out our dreams. This means that  avoid a life of misery, you.must choose the right person to spend your life.with-one that is  interested in supporting, motivating, and challenginv you to live out your assignment.

There is more to a relationship or marriage than love. So think before you leap.

These are some of the very serious kinds of traits to watch out for if you don’t want to end up in the wrong marriage.
Have been at the recieving end of a toxic relationship? You can use the comment box to tell us about your experience and how you got out of it. 


Also read: 





               
                   
                   

5 comments :

  1. Well said - think I 4 out of those 7 - time to move on ;)

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    1. Thanks Malin for the comment. Am glad the article made meaning to you

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  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  4. very true Mr Khan. we get the best of life when we take courageous steps amidst pain and fear

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