Sunday, 17 September 2017


Single people have a million and one reasons they would not wait for sex until marriage. These reasons range from love, peer pressure, financial constraints, and so many other reasons.

1. They are in Love
There is a high demand for love, mostly among orphans and teens that grew up in dysfunctional homes. Some teens have never experienced what it means to be loved and would do anything just to feel loved, even if it means having sex with someone who does not care about them.

It is understandable how difficult it must have been growing up in a family where one did not feel loved because of family challenges. Under this circumstance, love-deprived teens tend to confuse sex for love because they do not know the true definition of love.

Love and sex are two of the most used and abused words. Most teens think that love and sex means the same thing. Love wants the best for us and for other people. Therefore, any act that does compel one to act against his or her best interest is not love. Boys often tell girls to have sex with them if they really love them but they must understand that girls are searching for boys who can love them without demanding sex in exchange.

Television and the entertainment media send messages that pressurize teens into believing that love and sex are synonymous but that is misleading. Singles see movies where two people who just met get involved in sex and think that love is incomplete without sex. The outcome of this ideology reflects in the number of people experiencing relationship heartbreak.

Sex is not a test of love. Commitment, trust, integrity, honesty, respect is a test of true love. Having sex with a partner who does not possess these qualities is a waste of time, energy, emotion, and resources. If someone wants you to prove your love through having sex with him or her, tell them to prove their love for you by respecting your decision to wait for sex until marriage.

The truth remains that, many relationships that involves sex ends in heartbreak, rather than marriage. Do not be deceived into having sex with someone just to prove to them that you love them because they will definitely move on to someone else they get tired of having sex with you. Understand that no one who threatens to leave you if you do not have sex with them values you; he or she is only using you for sexual gratification.

Sex is not love; it is only one among many expressions of love between married couples. Sex without a lifetime commitment is an unworthy compromise that could haunt one for a lifetime. When two married people have sex, they grow in love because they have committed their lives to each other, and for them it is not just all about sex but love towards each other. The result of sex between two single adults is fear of commitment because men do not like to commit except they find a girl who is worth the risk. A man will hardly ever commit martially to a girl who already lives with him.

True love comes from God. A man who does not love God, cannot love you and a mans love for you is not fulfilling except you let Gods love into your heart. Become born again and commit you life to Jesus Christ and then, you will experience an over flowing love. What happens if you already lost your virginity? Start all over again. Make the decision not to engage in sex again until you are married. Accepting that you have made a wrong choice for a long time is the greatest step to a more productive life. God no longer looks at the wrong you have done the moment you decide to make a wise choice.

Say no to premarital sex and know that whoever loves you will respect your decision to wait for sex until marriage.

2. Desperation for Love
Every human is born with an innate desire love but there are people who have never experienced such feeling, and so will do everything in their power to feel just a pinch of love. Research has shown that one of the greatest factors that have contributed to the rise in teens engaging in premarital sex is the desperation to feel loved. Teens that grow up without experiencing love are far more likely to equate sex with love in some cases.

There is a deep longing for love in the heart of teens and single adult. The problem is that, they might be searching for love in the wrong places-where it does not exist. A single girl who grew up without a gesture of love from her parents or guardian will almost go crazy if a boy says, I love you.
What she does not understand is that many boys will say I love you a million and one times just so that you would let him have sex with you. Divorce has a major influence on the number of teens who engage in premarital sex.

3. Divorce and Separation among Parenting Couples
The increasing rate of divorce and separation among parenting couples contributes immensely to love famine in the home.

According to Sociologists Sara Mc Lanaham and Gary Sandefur (2009), young women brought up by single and divorced parents are twice likely to become pregnant during their teenage years

God created the family unit to be a place where two people come together in agreement to provide the innate love need of their children.  No matter how good a single parent is, it is almost impossible for anyone of them to provide the basic needs of their children.

These needs are emotional, relational, spiritual, psychological, and financial.
One major factor about teens raised in broken homes is that, there is a loss of value because there is no one to model right values to them. Since there is no one to tell them that premarital sex poses great danger to their lives, they engage in it.

In addition, singles from broken homes experience high level of peer pressure than singles from two-parent homes. This is because teens from broken home spend more time with and learn from their friends, instead of their parents.

Single people from broken home also feel a sense of insecurity in the home, which motivates them to try to find it from even the most destructive places. Premarital sex might not offer them a long time sense of security but it offers them a temporary sense of security and comfort.

Children from divorced parents feel a lack of love and low self-esteem, which they try to resolve by engaging in premarital sex. They think that people who agree to have sex with them are simply doing them a favour.

Finally, many a time, a teen mother is so angry about her situation that she rages her frustration on the innocent child, rather than show him or her love.

4. Physical Development: A Body Equipped for Sex
Boys and girls experience developmental changes that occur in the body at a certain age. A single undergoing this change have reached puberty. Puberty is time when the body prepares itself for sexual and reproductive functions.

Singles cannot mature into men or women without passing through this stage. In this changing world, teens reach puberty earlier today than decades ago. Presently, puberty takes place between the ages of 10 and 12 years. Some teens even begin to experience these changes at early as 9 years.

The challenge is that, these changes overwhelm most teens. The only way parents can help their single children mature emotionally with these physical changes is by building a loving and caring marriage with their spouse, which in turn gives the child a sense of emotional fulfillment and maturity. Go through this stage.

One of the reasons singles engage in premarital sex is because their body is equipped for sex. It is important for teenagers to understand these stages so that they can adjust emotionally through the loving relationship of their parents. Teen children from broken homes are far more likely to engage in premarital sex when puberty sets in.

During puberty, there are certain hormones that are released. These hormones affect the way the body functions. Evident during this stage is the development of breast and pubic hair in women. In addition, girls experience a monthly menstruation period, which last between 3 and 7 days.

During their menstrual cycle, they experience mood swings and other emotional changes that often make her nervous and confuse.

Teen boys experience changes as release of sperms, development of deeper voice, growth of pubic hair, and growth of facial hair, and there is enlargement of the penis. Boys become more sexually aware of themselves. The first ejaculation a boy will ever experience will occur while he is asleep. That is why it is called wet dreams.

There is no need to panic because this experience is natural, healthy, and part of the stage of puberty.
After puberty comes the adolescent stage, during which teens feel the physical and hormonal pressures to experiment with sex. These changes make the teenager more conscious and aware of the opposite sex.

They feel attracted to the opposite sex and desire to be friends with the opposite sex. This is not a bad feeling but teens must be cautious about acting on such feelings. In other to avoid engaging in premarital sex, avoid staying alone in the same room with the opposite sex and avoid pornography movies and magazines.

To be continued...

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